Guest Post by Nan Toby Tyrrell
I wonder what that phrase really means; for me it has many kinds of interpretations.
First, I acknowledge that I was born on August 2,1941 and my mother waited for the doctor many hours. I only weighed 5 pounds and 19 ounces and spent loving time at Paul Kimball Hospital in Lakewood, New Jersey. My mother, Frieda Sokolow Feldman, and my father, Bernard Feldman, welcomed me into the family and my first home was at 236 First Street where I learned to ride a bike, walk to school, have backyard birthday parties, play piano, and write poems. And I loved being the first daughter.
That was long ago, but still I hold wonderful memories of my neighbors Reverend Sewell and his wife. His church was at the corner of First Street and Clifton Avenue with high stained glass windows. He had a collie dog that I loved. There were so many sweet moments in my early childhood that nestle inside m brain and heart.
I am still a small-town girl with a friendly trust in the goodness of other people. To age is to become for me more open-minded and less fearful of the future…to be present to all the mystery and beauty in the forest, by the ocean, and in my own backyard. To grow older, I need to accept my own limitations in stamina and energy. Take time to rest and rejuvenate with good music, poetry, and novels…to find time to spend with friends that enrich my life with their positive outlooks and ideas…to take risks that will stretch my imagination.
It’s challenging for me to admit that when I was fifty or sixty, I never thought about death. Now at this stage in my life that Erik Erikson called the years of Generativity vs. Stagnation, I seek new ways to feel needed and be of service in my community and family…to feel engaged. I do not want to just be a visitor like Mary Oliver wrote in one of her lovely poems:
When it’s over, I want to say all my life
I was the bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world in my arms.
No, I want to be part of this chance to live a fully as possible; inspired to keep moving and dancing. No matter how old I am, I will keep living!
You are the embodiment of positivity and possibilities, Nan. Thanks so much for sharing that in so many ways. (Your regular Letters to the Editor in the Leader are sometimes the only positive part of the whole paper!)
Nan, thank you for sharing your lovely memories and beautiful perspective. A pleasure to read. Joanne
You express, in your words and your actions, a healthy and wholesome embrace, not just acceptance, of life’s unfolding. Thanks, Nan
Beautiful thoughts!! Thanks you Nan Toby.
Wonderful to imagine your girlhood. You feisty woman!
Lovely thoughts, just as you are lovely and an inspiration. Thank you, Nan.
Ida
Nan, thank you for the depth and warmth you show. Mary Robson